Book Bloomer

The Night Olivia Fell(paid link) is another book that was included in the monthly Scriblr box I had a subscription for. As you all may know, I tend to be on the softer side with my reviews. However, it’s time I take a step back and truly analyze the book for what it is.

This novel is about a mother, Abi, whose daughter fell from a bridge and is in a coma. The doctor’s say she will never wake up, but they must keep her on life support until her (SPOILER) baby is born. Everyone keeps saying it was an accident, but Abi doesn’t believe them. She won’t rest until she finds her daughters killer. In the process, she unravels secrets about her life and her daughter that make her question everything.

When it comes to this novel, it needed a few more rounds of editing. For my writers out there, take note because it’s a perfect example of too much “telling” and not enough “showing.” Several times, the thrill and suspense is broken up by McDonald telling us thoughts and side events over and over again. It was to the point that my eyes would glaze over these parts towards the end because I already knew what they were going to say.

You should NEVER have to tell your readers the same characteristics or thoughts of your characters over and over again. You should show these thoughts or events with the small details that you include. For example, in this novel, instead of constantly saying how abandoned Abi feels from her childhood, SHOW what this abandonment looks like. SHOW what this sadness looks like. With a few more rounds of edits, this novel could be really amazing. The plot is there, the characters are there, and the thrill is there.

I wouldn’t recommend this novel as of now, due to its lack of edits and inability to condense the unnecessary “telling” elements.